Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle site Goop has taken on the subject of anal sex in its latest newsletter – and it’s an eye-opening read.
The actress-turned-editor interviewed Paul Joannides, a psychoanalyst, researcher, and author of ‘Guide to Getting it On!’, to offer readers a “reality check” on anal sex.
For Joannides, the way anal sex is represented in porn films is all wrong and “about as real as how they drive cars in the ‘The Fast and the Furious’”.
The sex expert said there are three golden rules for making anal pleasurable.
Firstly it’s important for a person to train their sphincter muscles to relax, he said. This is because the muscles, situated near the opening of the anus, are there to stop humans from soiling themselves and “there’s an automatic reflex if you push against them from the outside”.
Secondly, he said it’s important to use lots of lubrication (”as, unlike the vagina, the anus provides no lubrication”).
Thirdly you have to get the angle right, “so you don’t poke the receiver in the wall of the rectum”.
Joannides said they don’t show you these things in porn. “Nor do they show communication, feedback, or trust,” he added.
“Couples who do not have excellent sexual communication, who don’t freely give and receive feedback about what feels good and what doesn’t, and who don’t have a high level of trust should not be having anal sex.”