Even if you’ve got the best intentions, getting a compliment right can be tricky.
We’ve already given you the lowdown on the “compliments” men give women that are actually really offensive – FYI, never tell a woman she’s clever “for a girl” – but now we’re showing you how to get it right.
On Reddit, women have been sharing the compliments they wish men would give them.
From focussing on our personalities to making comments feel genuine, we’ve rounded up some of our favourite tips.
“Hearing that you’re funny, smart, thoughtful, etc… Most compliments from men focus on physical traits or overall appearance.”
“I’ve got curly hair and only ever really get nice comments on it after I straighten it, which I hate doing because it’s a pain in the ass and makes me feel like my natural hair is ugly. So nice comments about it when it’s not straightened seriously make my day.”
“A guy I later slept with told me my vocabulary was sexy.”
“Whenever I’m at this particular male friend’s house, his dog always greets me first and chooses to lay near me or beg me for pets even if there are other people around. So he told me one day (the friend, not dog): ‘You’re my dog’s favourite person’. That made me happy.”
“I much prefer it when men compliment me on something related to my style than something related to my body. ‘I really like your outfit. Your shoes are cool’ versus ‘Nice rack. I like that ass’.”
“I’ve gotten plenty of compliments on my appearance, but the compliment that I will always remember was from a guy I was only acquaintances with through our friendship group: ‘I like it when you talk. When you say something, it’s always either really insightful or really funny.’ Thank you, Keith. I will always remember that.”
“Don’t stick around waiting for a response. A quick ‘you look great’ and walk away feels genuine. If you stand there with sustained eye contact and an expectant smile that feels creepy.”
“That I’m smart and/or have good taste in music, films, books etc. I spend hours discussing this kind of stuff with my male friends and none of them has ever told me something complimentary about my ideas.”
“’You look really nice!’” feels better than ‘you’re sexy!’ or ‘nice ass!’”.
“I think many girls would love to hear ‘I’m proud of you’ more often. Every time my boyfriend tells me he’s proud of me I just feel so goddamn happy, like someone is aware of all the effort I’m putting into something.”
“My husband tells me so often that I’m doing a really great job growing our baby. I’m uncomfortable like, 90% of the day, but when he tells me I’m an awesome baby grower, it makes me feel like superwoman.”
“Your winged liner is perfect.”
“’You are one of the smartest people I know’. I feel like guys never acknowledge or compliment smarts on chicks, it would be so nice (and hot) if guys not only said I was cute (I get cute more often than anything) but I actually had something between my ears.”
“’You make me come alive.’ This is an actual compliment I received from my now-husband. Anything that makes you feel like you’ve had a real effect on the person or their life is nice.”
“My boyfriend and I have started giving each other unconventional compliments such as ‘I like this one mole on your chest’ or ‘I like the hair on your toes’. It’s quite fun and entertaining to just sit together and try to think of crazy, off the wall compliments for each other and we always end up laughing a lot. I feel like doing that has helped us look at small things about each other that we like but would not have thought of before and grow even closer.”
“A male friend recently told me I’m the second best driver he knows. I asked who was first and he said his dad. But to be fair his dad rides motorbikes and drove HGVs for many years. A compliment like that made my day and I even smile about it now, a few weeks later.”
“When you compliment her looks she’ll smile and blush and thank you, but when you compliment her personality, it makes her feel on top of the world.”